THE APPLE DOESN’T FALL FROM THE TREE
Here are the message notes from my friend Jerry Trewern when he spoke a powerful message at Discovery Church .
There’s an old saying: The apple doesn’t fall from the tree.
This poses a problem when we live in a day of absent fathers.
Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the LORD comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.
It’s hard to think about turning your heart to your father when you may be walking with a major father wound. We all have father issues – some more than others. Even those who had great dads can still carry wounds from an event or a moment of weakness or failure on the part of our fathers. The truth is, none of us had a perfect father because they don’t exist. Neither do our father issues simply go away as we age. The old saying the time heals all wounds is not true – maybe a truer statement might be time wounds all heels.
“Our view of God our Father must come from scripture, not from our childhood experience.” – Henry Blackaby
We all seek certain things from our father that we can’t sufficiently get from anyone else!
Affection, Affirmation, Approval, Acceptance…
Protection, Instruction, Inclusion, Inspiration…
These are so critical to our identity, that if we don’t get these from our fathers, we will learn to seek it from those who we think can give it to us.
- Girls often go from guy to guy to guy looking for love and acceptance
- Young men often default to trying to prove their manhood with risky or anger induced behaviors
- Facebook – now over 2 billion active users [Father-book?] Did they like my post? Did they accept my friend request? How many likes did I get? Do “they” approve of me? Are they jealous of me yet? Am I worth anything?
WE ARE A GENERATION LONGING FOR VALUE AND VALIDATION!
If you put your validation in other people’s hands you will have to go back to them for it.
To Fathers… (and single moms)
- What your kids need most from you – simplified: Connection and Correction.
- Play with them and Pray with them!
- God disciplines those He loves.
- Single Moms:
- you can still raise healthy, strong kids with Godly character!
- you would do well to connect your kids to good male influences
- il – our kids ministry smoother when men are involved/present
- Get your little apple around some strong trees!
Scott Hagan says:
“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…
… but the TREE DOESN’T FALL FAR FROM THE APPLE.”
You can spend your life looking at and blaming your stem; where you came from, what happened to you, what they did… or you can spend your life looking forward believing in your seed, your potential, your influence. The choice is yours.
If you live your life focused on your stem you will never realize the potential of your seed.
We are so busy blaming our bad fathers that we have become bad sons/daughters.
- even a rotten apple can produce a tree
- even a great father can find himself managing a prodigal son
- stop cursing your father; stop cursing the God who gave you that father
We need to become better sons and daughters!
Romans 8:12-16 (ESV)
12 So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. 13 For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs–heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
You are under no obligation to do what your father did; what your sinful nature urges you to do…
Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” God is your true father and a perfect one at that!
- This term defines a healthy tension between respect and intimacy; Connection and Correction
- His Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children
Quit striving for an earthly father’s affection, affirmation, approval and acceptance and receive your heavenly Father’s ADOPTION!
If you accept your Heavenly Father’s adoption you will have all the acceptance you need.
- stop living under the shadow of an unhealthy tree
- come to the right tree – the cross – and receive your adoption as a son/daughter
- stop focusing on your stem
- start thinking about the tree [life] you’re producing
YOU HAVE A GREAT FATHER!
Your Father loves you and is…
- strong enough to protect you
- engaged enough to teach you
- tender enough to hug you
- close enough to hear you
YOUR FATHER LOVES YOU… (Everyone needs to hear those words.)
If we knew how much we were loved by our Father we would walk
- with confidence
- with gratitude,
- with joy,
- with peace,
- acceptance, validation…
On behalf of your earthly father…
- I’m sorry I left, walked away…
- I’m sorry for neglecting you and putting my interests in front of your’s
- I’m sorry for the verbal and physical abuse
On behalf of your heavenly Father…
- You are loved more than you know
- You are accepted, affirmed and loved!
- “You are my son, [my daughter], in whom I am well pleased.”