marriage, Ministry

How To Diffuse Conflict In Your Marriage

Last Wednesday night we talked about the 4th in the series of Marriage Built To Last.
This past session was dealing with How to Diffuse Conflict.
Here is the acrostic we used.

D efine the problem alone together.
I nitiate a time to talk.
F ocus on the problem not the person.
F eel their pain.
U ncover the root problem.
S et things right between you – James 5:16
E stablish a game plan.

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Ministry

FLYING SOLO IN A MARRIED WORLD

Just wanted to share the outline to a teaching Brenda and I did a while back on being single in a married world….I love this teaching that gives biblical insight into some of the good things about being single.

LIVING SINGLE IN A MARRIED WORLD
Pastor Steve and Brenda Lummer

1. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE SINGLE?
(how some people view singleness)
1. Singleness:  A PROBLEM.

2. Singleness:  A TRAGEDY
3. Singleness: A TRANSITION

4. Singleness: AN OPPORTUNITY

2. MYTHS THAT MAKE US MISERABLE

Myth #1 – Marriage is THE God-ordained lifestyle.
“I wish everyone could get along without marrying, just as do. But we are not all the same. God gives some the gift of a husband or wife, and others he gives the gift of being able to stay happily unmarried. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows, better to stay unmarried if you can, just as I am.”  1 Corinthians 7.7-8 (The Living Bible)

Myth #2 – The GRASS IS GREENER on the other side.
“Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife.” 1 Corinthians 7.26-27
“I am trying to spare you the extra problems that come with marriage.” 1 Corinthians 7.28 (New Living Translation)

Myth #3 – My life + SOMEONE ELSE = happiness
“I’ve Teamed by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.”  Philippians 4.11-13 (The Message)

Myth #4 – Singleness = LONELINESS , while marriage = intimacy.

3. BEING SINGLE AND SATISFIED
Contentment is the result of an eternal perspective.
“Now let me say this … The time that remains is very short, so husbands should not let marriage be their major concern … for this world and all it contains will pass away. In everything you do, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life.”  1 Corinthians 7.29-32 (New Living Translation)

Singles have an advantage in knowing and serving God.
“…some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 19.12a (NLT)
“An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. But a married man can’t do that so well. He has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 (New Living Translation)

One is a WHOLE NUMBER
“And you are complete in him…” Colossians 2.10 (King James)
“God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.” 1 Corinthians 7.7(The Message)
Leave the “hunting” for romantic attachment to God.
“Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain just as you are. If you have a wife, do not end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not get married. But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin.”  1 Corinthians 7.25-27 (New Living Translation)

How singles can respond to their marital state:
They can GRIPE.
They can GRAB.
They can GROW.

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marriage, Ministry

OOPS…I DATED JECKYLL …BUT MARRIED HYDE

Just wanted to post these teaching outlines from our Pure Sex Series Brenda and did together a while ago – Stuff is too good to stay in a three ring binder.

OOPS…I DATED JECKYLL …BUT MARRIED HYDE
Pastor STEVE and BRENDA LUMMER
pure sex series

Duet. 22:9,10,11 Do not plant two kinds of seed in your vineyard; if you do, not only the crops you plant but also the fruit of the vineyard will be defiled. 10 Do not plow with an ox and a donkey yoked together.
11 Do not wear clothes of wool and linen woven together.

1. WHAT GOES WRONG?
Stages of Love:
1.  ATTRACTION
2. INFATUATION
3. ATTACHMENT
Be careful what you get attached to

2. WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?
Some go…     Some stay…   Some find another way…

3. CREATING THE RIGHT MARRIAGE

Face your    FAULTS COLLECTIVELY      remember you are on the same TEAM.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me…” Psalm 139.23-24a
“Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” James, 5.16

Fulfill your   SPOUSES NEEDS     .
“The man should fulfill his duty as a husband and the woman should fulfill her duty as a wife. and each should satisfy the other’s needs.”  1 Corinthians 7.3
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

Be   UNDERSTANDING   , not demanding.
“You husbands should try to understand the wife you live with…”  1 Peter 3.7

Enlist    SUPPORT     from others.
“Get all the advice and instruction you can.”  Proverbs 19.20 (New Living Translation)

Get plugged into a    GOD POWERED   marriage.

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Ministry

THE MASK SERIES

With Halloween around the corner, I am starting a series of  teachings about our mask we wear.

Here is the outline for the first message in a series called The Mask we will begin this weekend.

This weekend is a message on how to face your PHOBIAS
Pastor Steve Lummer
Mark 5:1-20

whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them.  2 Corinthians 4:4 (nkjv)

Definition of fear- F-E-A-R — Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

Psalm 34:4 (GN) “I prayed to the Lord and He answered me; He freed me from all my fears.”

1.  THE DAMAGE FEAR DOES

*    It paralyzes POTENTIAL
(The disciples) “.were together with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish authorities.”  Jn 20:19

*    It ruins RELATIONSHIPS
(Adam) “. . . I was afraid and hid from you . . .” Gen. 3:10 (GN)

*    It hinders HAPPINESS
“Worry can rob you of happiness.”  Pr. 12:25 (GN)
(David) “I am worn out by my worries.”  Ps. 55:2

*    It sabotages SUCCESS
(Job) “Everything I fear and dread comes true.”  Job 3:25 (GN)

2.  THE FREEDOM FROM  FEAR

1. KNOW THE TRUTH “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32

2. EXPERIENCE THE LOVE but perfect love casteth out fear: indeed fully developed love expels every particle of fear, for fear always contains some of the torture of feeling guilty.”  1 John 4:18

3.  FIGHT WITH FAITH “Above all be sure to take faith as your shield, for it can quench every burning missile the enemy hurls at you.”  Eph. 6:16 (Ph)

“When I am afraid, I will put my confidence in God.  Yes, I will trust the promises of God.”  Ps. 56:3 (LB)

Mark 5:15 And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and clothed, and in his right mind: and they were afraid.

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Media, Ministry

RAIN

Just finished watching Rob Bell’s DVD called Rain. – awesome right now for me.

Things don’t always work out the way we want them to, or the way we think they will. Sometimes we don’t even see it coming. We get hit with some form of pain out of nowhere leaving us feeling desperate and helpless. That’s the way life is. Still, it makes us wonder how God can just stand by and watch us suffer. Where is God when it really hurts? Maybe God is actually closer to us than we think. Maybe it’s when we’re in these situations, where everything seems to be falling apart, that God gets an opportunity to remind us of how much he really loves us.

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Ministry

Pastor Appreciation Month


So, because this is a month set aside to say thanks to pastor’s, I wanted to say thanks to some of the pastor’s I appreciate big time.
Pastor Henry Lummer, Pastor Ralph Hutchinson, Pastor Frank Lummer, Pastor Oscar Hamilton, Pastor Ben Leonard, Pastor Gary Denbow, Pastor Tommy Barnett, Pastor Bill Wilson, Pastor Harvey Smith, Pastor Cleddie Kieth, Pastor Hugh Rosenberg, Pastor Ron Stevens, Pastor Ron Garner, Pastor Morris Hunt, Pastor Daniel Williamson, Pastor Adam Kling, Pastor Jesse Quiroz, Pastor Leigh Metcalf, Pastor Jack Hayford, Pastor Brad Rosenberg, Pastor Doug Reed, Pastor George Mullen, Pastor Wayne Mancari, Pastor Dave Crabtree (Sr, Jr.) Pastor Charles Crabtree, Pastor Rich Wilkerson, Pastor Clyde Miller, Pastor Bob Crabtree, Pastor Jim Palmer, Pastor John Palmer, Pastor Tom Trask, Pastor Ray Corlew, Pastor Steve Harris, Pastor David Blunt .
Thank you.

Steve and Brenda

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Arizona, Ministry

BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

Really looking forward to speaking at this weekend’s Honor’s retreat at Lake Powell  for pastor Daniel Williamson and the young people of New Horizon Christian Academy.

http://www.azteenchallenge.org/cms/index.cfm?&PrimaryKeyList=,783&itemID=204069

One of my messages will be the taken from the amazing real life story of survival of Aron Ralston.

His book “Between A Rock And A Hard Place” is an amazing story of how he survived being stuck in Blue John Canyon in Utah.

Here is a brief look at my teaching called Between A Rock And A Hard Place I will be sharing this weekend.

The Story: – April 26, 2003, started as a routine Saturday of climbing for Aron Ralston
Ralston was 150-yards above the final rappel in Bluejohn Canyon. He was maneuvering in a 3-foot wide slot trying to get over the top of a large boulder wedged between the narrow canyon walls. He climbed up the boulder face and it seemed very stable as he stood on top. As he began to climb down the opposite side the perfectly balanced 800-pound rock shifted several feet, pinning his right arm – he was trapped.
Within the first hour after becoming trapped Ralston had calculated his options and came up with four possible solutions.
Someone would happen along and rescue him.
He would be able to chip away at the rock and free his hand.
He would be able to rig up something with the ropes and equipment he had to move the rock.
If all else failed, he would need to sever the arm.
Death was a 5th possibility that Ralston didn’t want to consider.

2 Cor 4:7  But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us. 8  We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; 9  Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed;  (kjv)
vs. 8 We are hedged in (pressed) on every side [troubled and oppressed in every way], but not cramped or crushed; we suffer embarrassments and are perplexed and unable to find a way out, but not driven to despair; (amplified)

The Power Of An Idea Makes All The Difference For Survival.
“WISDOM MAKES ONE WISE MAN MORE POWERFUL THAN TEN RULERS.” ECCLESIASTES 7:19 NIV
The power of an idea
In his book, Thinking for A Change, John Maxwell says, “The right thought, plus the right people, in the right environment, at the right time, for the right reason, always produces the right result.” Let’s examine those words:

(1) The right thought.

Thinking produces ideas and ideas have power. But every idea begins as a “seed thought” – you have to nurture it!

(2) The right people.

Every time you expose the right idea to the right people, incredible things happen. In their company it blossoms and becomes infused with possibility.

(3) The right environment.

In the right environment thinking is valued, ideas flow freely, fresh eyes are welcome, change is expected, questions are encouraged, egos are checked, ideas stimulate better ideas, and thinking generates teamwork.

(4) The right time.

The Emperor Hadrian said, “To be right too soon, is to be wrong.” While still in the stretching stage of an idea, present it without expectations, time frames or rigidly defined goals. Why? Because if you try to implement your ideas too early they may not survive.

(5) The right reason.

J.P. Morgan said, “A man always has two reasons for doing anything: a good reason and the real reason.” Motives matter. Selfish motives disqualify us; God only gets behind ideas that fulfill His purposes and demonstrate that we care for others.
Sometimes an idea becomes great when it partners with another one; other times it excels just as it is. One thing’s for sure: as you stretch your thinking, you’ll discover that your thinking is stretching you.

 

 

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