church family, Discovery Church, marriage

The Three Flames

Here are a few notes from our recent message entitled “FLAMES”.

There is a book in the middle of the bible, there is this collection of love poems that are so explicit that young Jewish boys were not allowed to read them until were older.

THE THREE FLAMES OF LOVE – BED OF ROSES Of (which mine has been because of you)

Joe Cocker – (you are so beautiful)

We get a lot of mileage out of this OLD ENGLISH WORD LOVE don’t we? – “I love my wife, but I also love a new car or my best pair of pants…..I really love you BUT I ALSO LOVE TACOS’?

there are three different Hebrew words used to describe love. I have found these three things to be very important to cultivating a healthy and loving relationship.

RAYA – Friendship
The first Hebrew word used to describe love in Song of Songs is “Raya,” which means basically a friend, a companion or soulmate (Song of Songs 4:7). Basically, this special person should be our best friend.

AHAVA – Deep Affection and Commitment
The second Hebrew word is “Ahava,” which means a deep affection. It is a desire that is unquenchable, a wish to be with the other person that makes your heart ache.
love has three dimensions. — “Ahava” is a love of the will and that it is more profound than just fleeting romantic feelings. It is a desire which leads a person to make a decision to join their life to another forever. It is what makes things last. It is the commitment involved in making a relationship work. Here we see that love is very much a choice as much as it is a connection. The lovers of Song of Songs state that Ahava is as strong as death, that many rivers cannot quench “Ahava” (Song of Songs 8:7).

DOD – Passion
The third Hebrew word used in the Hebrew love poems is “Dod.” Dod means to carouse, rock or to fondle (Song of Songs 1:2). Dod is the passion and the romantic feelings that are a part of a love relationship, the physical, sexual part.

LEAVE – CLEAVE – WEAVE

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 and Matthew 9:5

The three ingredients of love are three distinct flames. Each component that we have is a small flame. Some people may just settle for the Dod flame in their relationship. Well, this is only a small piece of the whole of love. We can keep coming back to this flame but alone it never really satisfies. Our souls ache for more. The key is to have all three flames burning as one big flame. This big flame can warm our soul and satisfy us. Anything less is less than what we were intended for. The good news is that if you are in a relationship and one of these three ingredients is missing you can still, many times, light the flames by focusing on them.

When we separate the flames there is never enough heat to keep the fire going

All three Hebrew words are the drug that keeps the love cooking!

May you discover all three flames and pass the torch to you youngins

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.⁸Love never fails….13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,13 (NKJV)

Steve

Discovery Church, marriage, Ministry

The Yin The Yang of Us

This Sunday …The Yin and Yang of us.

Wow, over 35 years of marriage/love/hope/dissapointments and a ton of grace, Steve and Brenda have found balance and a way to to stay through it all. Join us Sunday Discovery Church for the story of three and a half decades of marriage, ministry and the art of keeping it together.
10:00 A.M. – Prescott College

wear your flip flops

http://www.discoveryprescott.com

Discovery Church, marriage

50 QUESTIONS BEFORE YOU SAY “I DO”.

Fifty Questions To Answer Before Saying “I DO”

Welcome to an adventure in learning about yourself and your prospective partner!
Hopefully you will benefit from the time invested in filling out this little questionaire. The questions are intentionally hard and yes/no answers are few. But, you get out what you put in kinda like marriage! So please be diligent and please be as honest as you can. These forms are entirely confidential and will be disposed of after use, so feel free to risk it!

May the Lord bless and reward you with a great marriage!

IMPORTATNT: (Please copy and paste these questions, print them out and answer them. Bring them to your pre-marriage sessions we have scheduled.)

PART 1
1. How much have you talked about the issues which arise after marriage?

2. Are you a Christian?
Is your mate?

3. Is there any challenge to this marriage? (Divorce, addictions, pregnancy,etc.?) If any, what has been
done about it??

4. What is your understanding of a marriage covenant?

5. What are your temperaments? (i.e., Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic, Melancholy)

6. Why do you want to get married?

7. Do you like each other? ( It is assumed that you are in love.)

8. What irritates you most in your mate’s conduct?

9. Are you gratified by your mate’s manners?

10. Do. you treat strangers better than you treat family members?

PART 2
11. How do you treat your mother and father?

12. How do you like your prospective in-laws?

13. Are you easily offended?

14. Do you have a sense of humor?

15. Do you believe anyone should help you financially?

16. What is your attitude about the wife working outside the home?

17. Who will handle the ckeck book?

18. Are you going to pool all your resources?

19. How generous are you?

20. What is your plan for spending?

PART 3
21. What is your attitude towards debt?

22. How will you handle reverses? ( Unemployment, sickness, etc.)

23. Where will you live?

24. Do you know the difference between sex and love?

25. What will you do if you discover one partner is more highly sexed than the other?

26. What books have read on the subject of sex?
On marriage in general?

27. What would you do if you discovered that your mate was romantically interested in another person?

28. When do you plan to have a child?
How many children?

29. What is your feeling about birth control?
Are you well advised?

30. Are you flexible?

PART 4
31. Do you have same interests?

32. What is your attitude toward household chores and who does them?

33. What do you expect of your mate?

34. What does your mate expect of you?

35. How do you act during confrontation?
Why?

36. How does your mate act during confrontation?
Why?

37. Do you identify one’s success and/or failure as success and/or failure for both?

38. How will you handle criticism from your mate?

39. Do you believe in careful, sensitive listening?
Are you good at it?

40. Do you believe in talking over matters and sharing in decision making for the family?

PART 5
41. Do you believe in counselors to help you solve personal problems?

42. What are your long range goals?

43. What are your short range goals?

44. When did you have a physical check up?
What were the results?

45. Where do plan to go to church?

46. How will you treat your religious differences?

47. Are you willing to leave each other to God?

48. What is your concept of leadership in the home and family?

49. If you could change one thing about your mate, what would it be?
Why?

50. Do your parents (and friends) favor this marriage?

FINAL ARRANGEMENTS
Have you made all arrangements for the wedding?

Who is in your wedding party?

Where will the ceremony be?

What Time is the wedding and what time is the reception?

Have all the financial plans for the wedding be arranged?

Have you put together an outline of what you would like the wedding ceremony to look like?

May God bless as you begin this journey together.

Pastor Steve and Brenda

http://www.discoveryprescott.com

marriage

“We were together and I forget the rest”

Just celebrated our 34th Wedding anniversary. And I like the quote written down in my notes from Opal Reddin’s literature class at Centrall Bible College.

“We were together. I forget the rest.”
– Walt Whitman

@what a wife ….what a life.

Arizona, marriage, Marriage Adventures

The Connection Expedition Marriage Adventure Event

I just wanted to post the Sedona Marriage Adventure event on this blog.

My good friend Joel Malm gave me the phrase “anti Conference” last September when I hiked Half Dome with he and a few other crazies.

He said, “an anti conference is smaller but more powerful way to get a message across because you are not in a big conference room with thousands of other people.”

I agree. We have all attended conferences and felt like we were just a number in a crowd… or as we sat in the ninth balcony we were not really involved or engaged in what was going on.

Connection Expeditions is totally opposite of the BIG conference and strives to be more personal and a whole lot more organic in its approach.

Connection Expeditions exist to give people another opportunity to grow both personally and collectively in a unique setting other than inside the walls of a church or conference center.
We believe that God gave us the outdoors to help us see the bigger picture He has designed for us.
Church settings are nice but the roof is to low. God took Abraham outside his tent and told him to look up at the stars in the sky – God told him that his offspring would outnumber the stars. What God did is just as significant as what he said. He led Abraham outside for an object lesson that he would never forget.

Why did God take him outside? Because inside the tent, Abraham’s vision of God and God’s amazing future for him was limited. He could not see the potential of God’s promises displayed against the backdrop of God’s creation. God wanted him to get a glimpse of just how big a God he was. Taking Abraham outside was God’s way of telling him not to put limits and ceilings on what God wanted to do through him and for him.

Conventional leadership, marriage conferences are neat to attend and meaningful without a doubt. They give us a new perspective on everyday life and work. But with the unique angle Connection Expeditions take we get out of buildings and into God’s creative natural sanctuary’s for lessons and connections that give us another way of learning what God is speaking to us.

In short, Connection Expeditions exists to create unique outdoor experiences that inspire vision and broaden

the perspective and connectivity of people of today.

Here is a brief look at the conference in Sedona this May 6,7 and 8 of 2012.

Sunday afternoon you arrive at Sedona’s Hilton resort and spa.

The event begins at 5:00 pm on the patio of the Hilton Resort and Spa and a brief mixer and introduction to our time together.

Monday and Tuesday we will explore the amazing sites of the region. – Connection Expeditions will use the geography and beauty of Sedona to teach couples from God’s creation the timeless truths that have kept couples together for thousands of years.

Then just before couples go to dinner we will teach on three tracks that will guide us through next few days.

THE CONFERENCE TRACKS

1. COMMUNICATION CONNECTS US

We will take a short walk into the distant past and see messages carved in stone by the Sinagua tribe some 900 years ago. Through this session we will see the significance of how important real and meaningful communication is between two people who desire to invest in a lifetime together.

#2. THE LOVE BRIDGE
Sedona offers some amazing natural scenic illustrations that can teach us how to adapt to and adjust to the challenges that attempt to keep us apart.

In this session, we will explore Sedona with the help of Jeep Tours on a 3 1/2 hour trip through the red rocks to Devil’s Bridge.

#3. CREATING ORDER IN THE NEST
One of the amazing gifts that this region offers is the ancient Native American ruins that still exist today. This session will be a trip back to some of the places and spaces people used to live hundreds of years ago.

We will see some biblical ways to create order in our homes that will have a lasting effect in our lives and the lives of our families for generations.

To register for this event, go to:

http://www.connectionexpedition.com/

Or feel free to email us or contact my cell @ 928-710-0750.

Please plan on registering early. This event is open to only 15 couples.

A $200.00 deposit per couple is due by march first to reserve you spot and room at the resort.

http://www.visitsedona.com/

http://www.hiltonsedonaresort.com/

http://www.connectionexpedition.com/

We are really looking forward to this time with you.

Steve and Brenda Lummer

marriage, Marriage Adventures

2012 Red Rocks Marriage Adventure Conference

I just wanted to start getting the word out about our 2012 Red Rocks Marriage Adventure Conference in Sedona, Arizona.

The event will base out of the Hilton Resort and Spa in beautiful scenic Sedona May 4th, 5th, and 6th.

http://www.hiltonsedonaresort.com/?page=home

This Couple’s Marriage Adventure Conference exists to:

1. Create unique active experiences that inspire married couples in connectivity.

2. Broaden couples perspective about their life together both in the short term and the long haul.

This spring’s Marriage Adventure Conference will be unique because of the setting and design of the three day event.

Sedona has been rated “Most Beautiful Place in America” by USA Weekend and we will make sure we are going to fit its beauty into our teaching sessions each day.

The Marriage Adventure Conference topics will include trips to unique historical and geographical locations, meaningful to our topic and theme of that day.

Here is a small glimpse of our three adventure sessions:

1. COMMUNICATION CONNECTS US

2. THE LOVE BRIDGE

Sedona offers some amazing natural scenic illustrations that can teach us how to adapt to and adjust to the challenges that attempt to keep us apart.

In this session, we will explore Sedona with the help of Pink Jeep Tours on a 3 1/2 hour trip through the red rocks to Devil’s Bridge.

http://www.pinkjeep.com/

3. CREATING ORDER IN THE NEST

One of the amazing gifts that this region offers is the ancient Native American ruins that still exist today.

This session will be a trip back to some of the places and spaces people used to live hundreds of years ago.

We will see some biblical ways to create order in our homes that will have a lasting effect in our lives and the lives of our families for generations.

As well as some amazing outdoor expeditions, we will be blessed to have three sessions with Kent and Kristie Sexton of Phoenix First Assembly of God.

Kent and Kristie own a successful regional business as well as bringing a wealth of knowledge and wisdom to our Marriage Adventure Conference.

Registration will be available on the Marriage Adventure Conference web site that is coming soon.

Plan it now and you can join us then

Steve and Brenda Lummer

Marriage Adventures Conferences USA

marriage, what I am working on right now

MARRIAGE ON THE ROCKS – THE RED ROCKS

Brenda and I are really excited about our Sedona, Arizona Marriage weekend next February 2012.

We are working with the Red Agave Resort in the scenic red rock country of Sedona.

http://www.redagaveresort.com/

This weekend will prove to NOT be just another marriage conference but a weekend adventure to build couples for a lifetime in all aspects of life together.

Start to plan a weekend with us a year from now …you won’t be disappointed.

Details and dates will be posted soon.

Steve and Brenda

marriage, Ministry

Five Love Languages – How to be smart about your marriage

Over the next eight weeks Brenda and I will be doing a teaching together called the Five Love Languages.
Sunday morning January 9th we will continue our sessions as well as take our love language assessment to let you know just what love language you have.

Dr. Gary Chapman, Christian counselor and author of The Five Love Languages writes about the importance of being able to express love to your spouse in a way that your spouse can understand. He calls this type of communicating using the five love languages.

Chapman’s Five Emotional Love Languages:

* Words of Affirmation
This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate’s self image and confidence.

* Quality Time
Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner’s love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.

* Gifts
It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don’t have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.

* Acts of Service
Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.

* Physical Touch
Sometimes just stroking your spouse’s back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.

Really looking forward to the journey in this amazing study that will help us all communicate better with the people we love the most.

Pastor Steve

Books I'm Reading, marriage, Ministry

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

Over the next eight weeks Brenda and I will be doing a teaching together called the Five Love Languages.
Starting Wednesday night November 17th at 6:30 we will begin our first session as well as take our love language assessment to let you know just what love language you have.