For more than a quarter of a century Brenda and I have taught people in seminars, in marriage and family sessions, this very important principle: “Become a family-centered family”.

Selfishness can cause us as families to get so out of focus and off track.  You see, it can creep up on you without you even knowing it.

What do I mean? Well, when you first get married you fall in love with the most importantant person in your life, right? Your spouse becomes the most important person in your life.  Then….a few months can go by and instead of staying a family-centered family, we get the new job and we become a “JOB-CENTERED FAMILY“.  Not on purpose,it just becomes the most important thing.

Then we buy a new house and we become a “HOUSE-CENTERED FAMILY“.

Then we have children, and it seems everything else gets put on the back shelf because the children have so many needs that are so urgent, so we become a CHILD-CENTERED FAMILY.

So many things get us off track from staying a FAMILY-CENTERED FAMILY… where every member of the family countsand no one becomes more important than anyone else in the family.

In our family, we always joke about becoming a “DOG-CENTERED FAMILY” because we have two golden retrievers that seem to get alot of our attention a lot of the time. They are important to us but not more important than the human members of the family.

Anything can get in the way of the most important thing. (boats, bikes, mortorcycles, hobbies, you name it).

These past few days because of my injury and surgery, my pain levels have been off the charts and everyone in the house (even the dogs) know not to hit dad’s foot.

I laughed a couple of hours ago when my two adult children, Brenda,the dogs, and the cat were in our bedroom and there it was larger than life……my big fat throbbing, aching, hurting, suffering foot!


There it was in the middle of the room and everyone was concerned about the foot to make sure IT was o.k. and IT was comfortable.

I laughed and told everyone that we had become a “FOOT-CENTERED FAMILY”.


One of my goals during this recovery season is going to make sure we don’t become a “FOOT CENTERED FAMILY” …..but we stay a  “FAMILY-CENTERED FAMILY” where everyone counts and everyone matters.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s