When my wife Brenda was teaching on the subject “Negotiating Change with people you care about“ this Sunday morning in Marriage Matters I had no idea that I would be using the teaching in real life this week.

Have you ever been in a situation were if you ask a person you cared about to change, you felt like they would pack up and leave the relationship?
Well, as a pastor I face that almost every week.
Pastoring people is the process of attempting to get groups as well as individuals to move forward toward a intended goal.
That is easier said than done.

FORWARD PROGRESS  is why Brenda and I love watching football so much. We get to see people move toward an intended goal in about 60 minutes.
I also love it when relationships with people who think totally different than I do work out. It just feels amazing to see stuff get resolved because two people work on a solution toward a common goal. – COOLNESS HAPPENS. When we start at the right place for change

The right place to start when it comes to HUMANITY is the place of HUMILITY.
Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you just think of yourself  less.

If it is true that even “God resist the proud” , how much more inevitable is it for humans to resist us when we approach them in pride?
The place to start if we are desiring change from people we care about is not with them, it is with ourselves.

Again, Jesus nailed it when he said; “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3” Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7

“according to Jesus, they absolute wrong place to attempt to negotiate change in others is the speck in your brothers eye and the right place to start is the plank in your own eye.”  -Brenda Lummer  Marriage Matters 11/26/2009