Category Archives: Just sayin'

church family, family, Just sayin', marriage, Ministry

YANK THE PLANK

PLANK EYE REVISITED

I just wanted to finish up part two of this blog post on “Negotiating Change with people you care about”

In Bren’s class she is teaching on ways in which we can bring about meaningful and lasting change with people we care about and love the most.

Here are some brief bullet points to negotiating change.

1. Start at the right place.

The first place to start is to YANK THE PLANK out of our own eyes before we attempt to “fix” someone else.

Jesus tells us to start with ourselves ″Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:3-5

2. Resource and understand the power of love.

Here are the five love languages Brenda has taught from Gary Chapman’s book the Five Love Languages.

Receiving gifts

These are visual or tangible symbols of love (presents and gifts).

Acts of service

Doing things for the other such as chores or other caring acts performed out of love not duty.

Quality time

Focusing energy and attention on the other through conversation and showing interest in each other.

Words of affirmation

Expressing love through compliments, praise and encouragement.

Physical touch

Not only sex but holding hands, stroking, hugging, sitting next to each other.

3. Develop healthy communication skills.

Remember, the six interpretations of spoken communication are:

1. What the speaker intended to say.

2. What the speaker actually said.

3. What the speaker thought he or she said.

4. What the hearer needed to hear.

5. What the hearer actually heard.

6. What the hearer thought he or she heard.

4. Timing is almost everything.Husbands really do not prefer a “honey do” list right as they walk in the door after work and wives would appreciate some eye contact and timing.

Just one more note regarding negotiating change with people.

Did you notice this week that we have decided as a nation to send 30,000 troops to another country to engage in more war?

Yep, the issue of war is all about not being able to negotiate change globally, regionally and anywhere else there are at least two people close to each other.

Here is a pretty cool 2000 year old text from Jesus half brother James that speaks right to the issue of why we can’t get along with one another both domestically and globally.

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. … “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble….Come near to God and he will come near to you.” – James 4:1- 10

Jesus and James must have had a pretty sweet family.

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Just sayin', marriage, Ministry

PLANK EYE

When my wife Brenda was teaching on the subject “Negotiating Change with people you care about“ this Sunday morning in Marriage Matters I had no idea that I would be using the teaching in real life this week.

Have you ever been in a situation were if you ask a person you cared about to change, you felt like they would pack up and leave the relationship?
Well, as a pastor I face that almost every week.
Pastoring people is the process of attempting to get groups as well as individuals to move forward toward a intended goal.
That is easier said than done.

FORWARD PROGRESS  is why Brenda and I love watching football so much. We get to see people move toward an intended goal in about 60 minutes.
I also love it when relationships with people who think totally different than I do work out. It just feels amazing to see stuff get resolved because two people work on a solution toward a common goal. – COOLNESS HAPPENS. When we start at the right place for change


The right place to start when it comes to HUMANITY is the place of HUMILITY.
Humility does not mean you think less of yourself. It means you just think of yourself  less.

If it is true that even “God resist the proud” , how much more inevitable is it for humans to resist us when we approach them in pride?
The place to start if we are desiring change from people we care about is not with them, it is with ourselves.

Again, Jesus nailed it when he said; “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 3” Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye. Matthew 7

“according to Jesus, they absolute wrong place to attempt to negotiate change in others is the speck in your brothers eye and the right place to start is the plank in your own eye.”  -Brenda Lummer  Marriage Matters 11/26/2009

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Just sayin', Life experiences

THANKABILITY 2009

 

I love John Mason’s word about Thanksgiving. John says,

“If you can’t be thankful for what you have, at least be thankful for what you’ve escaped!”

Wow,  what a great way to look at life.

Here is my Thankability list for 2009

I am thankful for:

God’s unending and relentless grace and care. (I take it personally)

My family. A very cool and compassionate church family.

Prescott az. A great mountain bike community.

Books, Rivers and our two dogs.

Friends who are real when you need them to be.

People that don’t abandon you in tough times.

A life partner (Brenda)

My life purpose to be a pastor.

The difference is in the Thank-ability.


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Just sayin', leadership, Life experiences, Ministry

The Earth Is Not Flat.

I can remember as a child in elementary school looking at the history book and seeing the map and pictures of what the world looked like back in Columbus day.
The picture in the history book was of ships falling off the end of the earth because the earth was believed to be flat. You remember those old maps with the sea monsters and the dragons and people hanging on to the end of the world.

(photos by Ed Miracle taken from google images)

Well, recently I had a situation that caused me to feel like my ship was about to fall off the end of the earth.
In fact I was explaining my emotions to someone. I was explaining how I felt that I had every anchor out in an attempt to keep from going over the edge.

With that, the person I was speaking to said very simply, “Hey Steve, you’ve got to remember, the earth is not flat, its round.” Wow, I had a moment where I felt at peace and realized what I was worrying about was basically conjured up in my mind and was not a real scenario at all.

Most of our fears never really come to pass.

The words of Jesus  still reverberate with truth. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34 NIV) He was teaching people who had ears to hear to learn to live one day at a time. The context of Jesus’ profound recommendation begins in Matthew 6:35, and concludes in the final verses of this life-changing lesson. “Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” (Matthew 6:31-34 NKJV)

My situation was very real and had some serious ramifications if not dealt with  but we are all going to have problems and situations that are beyond our control….that is just a fact. But another fact is that we have a choice as to how we respond to the problems and situations in our lives.

The earth is not flat. That is so important because of this one important thing. If the earth was flat we would eventually fall off the edge. But, because it is round we can keep going forward.
What a great feeling to have hope and a future.

You can keep going forward Don’t let fear keep you from sailing– the earth is not flat it is round.

This is our world and it is round meaning we can keep sailing around it and not fall off it.

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Just sayin', Life experiences

Don’t Quit

don't quit

I am really thankful for people like Mark Batterson and others who God give us to encourage us.

The way I was emotionally feeling this morning was putting me in a very vunerable place and if your are like most of us HUMANS that is  not a  good place.

Then, as I usually do, I reached out and read a post from Mark’s blog and I had to post it on mine.

“The king stuck the ground three times and then quit. The Holy Man became angry with him: “Why didn’t you hit the ground five or six times?”

II Kings 13

Dare I say it? The primary reason we don’t experience a complete breakthrough is because we quit too soon! There is a time to call it quits–if the Lord has released you from the thing he called you too. But you better not quit for any other reason!

When I get discouraged, 9 times out of 10, it’s because I’m focused on the short-term. I need to zoom out and see the big picture. Here’s some encouragement. In the words of Bill Gates: we tend to overestimate what we can accomplish in 2 years and underestimate what we can accomplish in 10 years. It’s true! Don’t quit after three attempts. Keep hitting the ground. Literally and figuratively. One way we honor God is simply this: keep on keeping on.”

Thanks Mark for the reminder to not be so shortsighted.

Now here is a definition of being “shortsighteed” –

Myopia (Greek: μυωπία, muōpia, “nearsightedness”[1]), also called nearsightedness or shortsightedness, is a refractive defect of the eye in which collimated light produces image focus in front of the retina when accommodation is relaxed.

Those with myopia see nearby objects clearly but distant objects appear blurred. With myopia, the eyeball is too long, or the cornea is too steep, so images are focused in the vitreous inside the eye rather than on the retina at the back of the eye. The opposite defect of myopia is hyperopia or “farsightedness” or “long-sightedness”—this is where the cornea is too flat or the eye is too short.

Anyone besides me  have “MYOPIC” vision?

If so, ask God to give you a better vision of the long hual .

Here is God’s book on the subject of not quitting- 

but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Now that we’re on the right track, let’s stay on it. Philippians 3:13-16 (message)

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